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DugCo Production
Once again we set off with the intent to get away from our mundane lives back home convinced that once we are free of the shackles of daily life our true abilities to make the world a better place will soar
>>> Saturday, April 15th
Paul and I had a 10:00 pm flight that would get us in Las Vegas a little after midnight early Sunday morning. It was the beginning of an endurance test, and we knew it. Paul and I compared notes, and it turns out that we had both been up since 6:00 am that morning, cleverly shunning any naps that would sap our wills and get us used to frivolities such as regular sleep. One unexpected turn was that Paul showed up at the airport in costume. I'm not sure whom he was hiding from; the ways of Paul are nothing if not mysterious. One thing was for sure, no one was going to recognize him in this outfit. It was a little embarrassing traveling with him though. I made up a story about him being a travelling veterinary pharmaceuticals salesman that I had befriended, and that made things a little easier.
>>> Sunday, April 16th
Sunday arrived sometime while we were in the air. I hibernated for most of the flight, only coming out of suspended animation when the plane nosed down for approach to Las Vegas.
I always overhear self-proclaimed Las Vegas "experts" (excluding your humble narrator of course - also a self-proclaimed Las Vegas expert) go on about the poor bastards that can't even wait to get to a real casino before they gamble. They tsk-tsk while solemnly shaking their heads in pity at this demonstration of lack of self-control. I stumble off the airplane like a tranquilized Cape buffalo as usual, but I still have enough of my wits about me to remember to feed the fire of Las Vegas legend and tradition - I head straight to the terminal slots my good deed to the gods of hearsay complete.
Remember, it's just after midnight and we have been up since 6 a.m. the previous day. Our job until 3:00 p.m. was to remain proudly homeless and semi-conscious until we could check into our rooms. I believe I only gleaned one single nugget of value out of this difficult period - I learned (at least Paul told me) that I can play a nickel slot machine and order drinks with my eyes closed and my head bobbing like one of those big-headed nodders you see in the back window of old cars in Renton.
Eventually, we did get rooms, Dick showed up, and we went back to the airport to pick up Dave. The group is complete.
To bed -- dam big day tomorrow.
>>> Monday, April 17th
Had breakfast at Paris-Las Vegas (first of many here), then off to the Hoover Dam for the dee-luxe hardhat tour.
Resplendent in our official ANSI Z89.1-1997 compliant (all except Dave's for some reason) souvenir hard hats, we look like manly men ready to tackle a big dam.
Looking down from the visitors gallery (where we left the mere mortals not taking the hard hat tour) at the Nevada powerhouse -- eight generators of city-lightin' fun.
Now we're on the generator level of the powerhouse asking intelligent, awe-struck questions of the happy/manic federally-employed tour guide, "how much do the turbines weigh?", "How fast do they spin?", "Who has to wax these floors?"
At the bottom of the dam looking up at it. A good shot of our government assigned insane tour guide. In case you're keeping score, Dave and I both got yelled at by the tour guide for minor infractions of "federal dam tour code" or some such nonsense. Paul and Dick didn't. Strange, usually they are the troublemakers.
Visited the Clark County Historical Museum on the way back from the dam, then went to the Midnight Fantasy show at The Luxor where I carefully inventoried an even number of bare breasts and there was some singing and dancing too, I think.
>>> Tuesday, April 18th
It's Tuesday, and after breakfast at Paris it's time to head out to Rachel, NV and pretend like we're investigating an X-File for Mulder and Sculley. Rachel, being the closest civilian human habitation to the "alleged" Area 51 gets more than its share of visits from kooks and weirdos in a year -- and we didn't want to be left out, so into the burning desert we go.
Our first stop in Rachel was at the acclaimed Area 51 Research Center where we were preceded by the local news media. Dammit!, How did they know we would be here. It turns out they were here to investigate the spy photographs of Area 51 recently released by Russia and being sold on the internet. After we finished here, we headed to the other end of town (about a thousand yards) and the Little A'Le'Inn. The television crew from Las Vegas were right behind us. As they started to interview the proprietors of the combination bar/cafe/motel/gift shop, we searched for appropriate souvenir crap to prove we were somewhere other than Issaquah on our trip. I managed to get a picture of the bumper sticker collection behind the bar, it leaves no doubt as to the local political affiliations.
This was also a good lesson in modern journalism. I got to listen to both interviews recorded in Rachel that day. A brief synopsis follows:
---Area 51 Research
Center---
[Interviewer] What do you think about the new photographs of
the top secret Area 51 Base?
[Researcher] They are very interesting in that they show a
lot of new construction on a base that officially doesn't exist, and
unofficially has been believed to be increasingly insignificant as a
test site for experimental aircraft.
{interview continues along this vein}
---Little
A'Le'Inn---
[Interviewer] What do you think about the new photographs of
the top secret Area 51 Base?
[Proprietor] It's great that they released those pictures
because people need to know that there's aliens in there and all
around this place. We've had aliens here in the bar...
{interview continues along this vein}
They only used one of the interviews on the news that night... guess which one?
After the long drive back to Las Vegas, we got cleaned up to go see a performance of Blue Man Group at The Luxor.
>>> Wednesday, April 19th
After yet another breakfast at Paris we head for the Valley of Fire State Park, a beautiful area of red rock formations, desert life, and history about 50 minutes from Las Vegas.
Ancient rock weathered and baked.
Awesome rock formations that look just the other side of real are all around. Red monoliths against a pure blue sky.
This area was home to the Piute indians not all that long ago, relatively speaking. They left written records scratched into the stone as to their hopes, their beliefs, what was important to them.
Petroglyph 1 [normal] [enhanced] I think this one says, "Metallica Rulez!"
Petroglyph 2 [normal] [enhanced] This one says, "People will fly here from distant lands to watch scantily clad maidens dance with feather headdresses in the desert near here"
One of these Piute's was called Mouse. Mouse made a name for himself by surviving as a renegade out here without any known source of water. Mouse had a secret. A trail leads along a dusty wash about a quarter mile until you reach a dead end. If you lean over the rock at the dead end, you see mouse's secret -- a catch basin for rain water in between the boulders. If this water doesn't look good to you, you haven't been walking through the desert long enough yet.
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